Slow Motion Yogi

I tend to be a slow thinker and decision maker. I spend more time than the average bear (over)analyzing and weighing all the options. If there is something I am interested in exploring or trying out, a lot of the times I end up talking myself out of it. I don't end up pursuing the thing I'm curious about because it might be too much work. Because it might not live up to expectations. Because I might feel discomfort. Because I might fail at it. Because maybe it's not for 'someone like me.'  Because I don't know how it will turn out in the end.

A lot of bullshit excuses, I know.

But, this winter, I decided to say "yes" to something I've wanted to do for a while, and I enrolled in a 9-week, 230-hour intensive yoga teacher training certification program. I submitted my application for the training at the last possible second to take advantage of the 'early bird discount', despite the little whisper in my ear that argued giving up my weekends for 9 weeks, along with loads of reading and homework and regular weeknight meetings, was too intense a time commitment. That I might not click with my peers. That I can't do super complex poses, so what business do I have trying to become a teacher? That I am not exactly a Lululemon model. That I'm not exactly the picture of serenity and Namaste and all that touchy-feely stuff, because, let's face it, I've got quite the temper at times, and I say the word 'fuck' a lot. That I would likely embarrass myself, like, a lot of the time. That I'm not sure what I'd do with a certification when I was done...would I even want to teach? That it's a lot of money to invest...and maybe it's not worth the gamble....or, if I'm being really honest...maybe I'm not worth the gamble.

My big, bold yoga booty front-and-center, surrounded by several of my fellow teacher trainee path-mates. What a great group of yogis!

I'm so glad I decided to calmly and politely tell those voices to just relax, will ya? I've taken risks before, and I've lived to tell the tale. And as far as this particular risk, at a minimum, I would learn some cool new stuff about a practice that I love, and that in and of itself is a great reward.

And I did learn a bunch of cool stuff. And I did embarrass myself. And I did make some great new friends. And I did cry and get frustrated and feel a lot of self-doubt along the way. And I did grant myself the permission to let go of my pre-conceived "yoga teachers are all ultra bendy, healthy, Lululemon spokespeople guru" notions and just do my yoga thang and fuhgedaboudit! And I crawled waaaay outside of my comfort zone more than once. I mean, for real, I spent a day practicing contact improv and that shit's kind of weird. And I did this:

Eff yeah, that's a HEADSTAND! MY headstand! My feet are in the air, and my head is on the ground, woohoo!

The program now is over, and a lot of people have asked "what's next?" or "so where are you teaching now?" While their intentions are good and pure, these kinds of questions also immediately rush me into some of my old, dangerous thinking patterns where I assume I'm probably a failure. Because I don't know what's next, and I don't have a permanent teaching position figured out. And, I know that's ok for now, even if my anxiety brain tries to convince me that it's not. I've taught a few classes here and there, both on my own and in co-teaching settings, and right now I'm just gathering experience while I figure out how I want to move forward. Like all other things, I'm going about this at my own slow and steady pace, and that's just fine by me.

Me, my teaching certificate, and two of my yoga mentors, M & D, the founders of Your Yoga MN.

The List 2016 Summary - The "Hits" and the "Almosts"

I meant to tie up the loose ends of my 2016 List in early January, but that didn't happen. So, he we are, and it's halfway through muther-effin April , and it's finally happening. I'm cutting myself some slack here, because my version of 2017 started off on some shaky, depressed and wary ground...and then I sold some consulting projects, and THEN I started an intensive yoga teacher training program, and got my butt all busy and running in a million directions, ok? So, things are starting to settle down again, but I'm still working to find my footing with this whole write regularly game.

Even though we're now in "Q2" of 2017, I don't want the chance to reflect on the 2016 List to slip away, especially because one of the things I enjoy about The List is the new experiences and moments of fun that it brings, and I get a lot of personal satisfaction going back and re-reading and reflecting upon my adventures, especially when the going gets rough.

I'm pleased to share that I completed 9 items from the 2016 list. Yes, it's 4 short of my goal to check off 13 items -- but frankly I think a few of my 9 should count for double duty. I mean, B & I bought a house! A HOUSE! That's a pretty major item to tackle! Also, I came really close on 5 items from my list. OK fine, so maybe saying that I came close to checking off "pet a penguin" from my list is a bit more than a stretch, but since my opinion is the one that counts here, I'm going to go with it.  So, there you have it. Once I include the 5 "almosts", then I'm actually AHEAD of the game, at 14!

Here's a quick recap of "The Hits"  

12. Visit a winery I've never been to before - This one was fun! I checked this item off x2 with a gorgeous, picturesque boutique winery in NoCal, and a quaint little gem in SW Michigan. I love me some crushed, fermented grapes!
14. Go to a candlelit Yoga class - A serene and peaceful practice, though admittedly my timing was a bit off with this item. Heading to a candlelit class in the peak of summer and late sunsets made the candles themselves a bit moot. I think I'll have to give this one another go-round.  On a different note, the write-up for this item, is one of the most read entries on my blog!
20. Write a Goodreads book review - I've somewhat gotten over my "write fright", which is a made up phrase akin to stage fright, but it's for publishing writing. Yes, it's kind of funny and weird that I experience "write fright" given I write a blog, but there you have it.  I guess I worry that if anyone reads my analyses, they may think I'm shallow and 'not smart.' But, I've now reviewed 6 books, and it turns out I'm not concerned with what other people think. Victory, yo!
43. Plant an herb garden - Dream big, yeah? Well, B & I bought a house, and then I planted some herbs in the backyard. Simple pleasures!
45. Find a family ancestral relationship to someone famous, living or dead - This is worthy of its own entry, but I never got around to writing it up. Here's the gist: I went to visit my family in my hometown of Kzoo, MI last Oct. While I was there, my dad took my sister and I to the Gilmore Car Museum, which houses a small exhibit dedicated to my great, great uncle, JB Rhodes. Considered, the "patent King" of Kalamazoo, he invented and patented numerous gadgets, from Razor blades to fishing lures, to car parts. One of his inventions, a device for railroad cars, was instrumental in building the Panama Canal. WAAAY ahead of his time, Rhodes even invented a navigation device for cars, back in the 1920s.  Here's a picture collage of me at the Gilmore Car Museum, including a few shots of the JB Rhodes exhibit.

At the Gilmore Car Museum in Kalamazoo, MI.

56. Run around all 3 lakes in the chain at once (Harriett, Calhoun, Isles) - I'd been meaning to do this for years, and one beautiful, breezy fall day, I finally did it - all ~10 miles. 
76. Become a homeowner - This one should count for extra bonus points! And since I make the rules, I'm going to go ahead and reward myself accordingly.
102. Work the polls at the presidential election - This was a big one too, and one of the coolest things I did last year. It deserves more of a write-up than I'm going to give it now. I am so proud to have served my city and country as an Election Judge, helping people to vote. The polling place where I was stationed ended up being the 2nd busiest precinct (out of 132 in MPLS) for same day registration and voter turnout. I firmly believe in the right to vote - and that we should make voting EASIER and not HARDER for all US citizens of legal voting age.
103. Make spaghetti squash - Spaghetti squash is delicious. And it turns out, involves using a big fucking knife to prepare it, and is kind of terrifying to make. They should call it "Machete squash" amiright?!? Ahem. Seriously though, I had to look up a Spaghetti Squash YouTube video to figure out how to cut open my spaghetti squash. The woman in the video calls her knife, "the bad boy."  Yikes!  The entire time I was hacksawing my Machete Squash, I was worried I was going to lose a finger. 

And here are the "Almosts" 

4. Take a Spanish class. - OK, so I didn't take an actual Spanish "class." But, I did download the DuoLingo App, and had a 50-day practice streak going for a while, so that kind of counts for something, no? I've fallen off the wagon and need to get back on board if I'm ever going to learn.
8. Run a 5k in under a half hour. - I came close to this one, but didn't quite hit the mark. When my sister came to visit last April, we signed up for the Goldy's Run 5K.  I finished with a time of 31:43 (10:13 min/mile). I've still got a lot of time to shave off (34 seconds/mile, to be exact). However, I've come a long way already. and I finished in the top 3rd overall (for women in my age division) and top half overall.
23. Relive B and my first date in Chicago. -  Our first date, back on January 5 (or 6), 2007 involved dinner at Kinzie Chop House followed by drinks at a piano bar. This summer, we took a weekend jaunt to the city, and enjoyed dinner at the chop house. How has it been 10 years already?! A
63. Pet a Penguin. - Yeah yeah,  I already confessed that came nowhere CLOSE to petting a penguin. BUT, I did visit the new Penguin exhibit at the Detroit Zoo with my husband and in-laws, and it was all kinds of fun and adorbs!  Here is a photo of my new penguin friends.

Visiting the Polk Penguin Conservation Center at the Detroit Zoo

80. Buy coffee for a stranger. I didn't buy coffee for a stranger, but when I was flying to SFO for my best gf's bachelorette party, I managed to score a free smoothie, and happily gifted it to a stranger in line...who happily accepted!

Whew!  So, that's 2016! Now, onto the 2017 List adventures. I'm already well on my way with some big ones for 2017, so I'd better get to writing. Weeee!